February 9th, 2010 and February 10th, 2010

February 9^th, 2010

I feel like I should respond to some of the things people are saying in their recent entries.

First of all, it was interesting to read the results for those of you that took the personality test. In a lot of ways, I thought they were accurate, in other ways, not so much. For Chrissy: the last paragraph struck me as the most true. The test read you as being highly sympathetic and also highly self-conscious… I definitely think that applies. You are the one person who tries the hardest to be fair to everyone… and you are the one person who does the worst job at being fair to yourself! I also thought it was true that you can become restless when you aren’t around people… I always associate you with being the one who’s just like “I gotta get out of the house! I gotta see people!” So that’s definitely true for you. For Mika: it was harder for me to find you in your results, but there were moments of absolute clarity. For example, the part about needing quiet time to yourself to recharge was very much like you. Also the part that you highlighted, about being kind of private, definitely sounded like you. Finally, I think you need to develop that sense for psychic phenomena that’s mentioned at the very end, because that’s sweet! Haha.

About all the stuff with Dan: it seems like you’re getting to a good place with it, Mika. I was really glad to hear that you’re finding it easier to be angry at him, as odd as that sounds… I think that’s healthy. When you first told us about Dan, I thought he sounded like a nice guy, of course, but there was a certain sense of reservation I felt because of a few little details you mentioned- his bad grades, his smoking habits. You’re right that you DO deserve a guy who cares about his future, because you’re going to find it hard to have a future with someone who doesn’t. And it’s great that you feel motivated to better yourself because of all of this… something good can always come of something bad.

A word about your thoughts on nursing/your Anatomy class: I definitely get where you’re coming from about that, Mika. I just want to caution you not to feel obligated to anything or anyone… I feel really strongly that it’s hard to decide what you want out of life when you’re 18-22, and that’s basically what we’re asked to do in college. I just feel like it’d be a shame to stick with something out of a sense of “What else is there for me?” when you’re a freshman and still have plenty of time to explore other options. I know that it’s hard to fit extra-curriculars into your schedule in the nursing program, but I really encourage you to try to see what else is out there, because there are a million careers that you’ve probably never even considered that you might be suitable for. I mean, nursing is an awesome profession to aspire to, but I would tell anyone in your situation that you should always consider the possibility that maybe it’s not the right thing for you. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t switch your major, because that’s always, always an option. It’s way more worth it to say that you wasted your freshman year in college taking classes for a career you never ended up pursuing than saying you wasted thirty years of your life doing something that wasn’t right for you.

But it does sound like, at least in theory, you’re passionate about nursing. Which is great. I guess there’s just a fine line, when you’re in school, between “these are the classes I have to take to do this” and “these classes represent what doing this is all about”, you know what I mean? And you have to look out for that line. Like I said, nursing is the only thing you know that you’re passionate about, but the more other things you expose yourself to, the more you’re likely to either find other things you’re more passionate about and suited to or feel confident that nursing really is the right fit.

I sort of have been having a similar-ish dilemma with Spanish. It just requires so much more work than all my other classes, and I feel like I don’t have the time to devote to it that I need to really be good at it. I’m stressed about the workload… but, unlike Mika, I’m really conscious that I can quite at any time, which is kind of a good and a bad thing. I know that if I wanted to I could cut my loses and drop the class tomorrow, which helps to manage the stress that I feel about being in the class, but at the same time, I’m afraid it’s like a safe-guard for me that might be keeping me from giving my all to it and might end in me quitting prematurely. I guess we’ll see how my first test goes, later this week.

Moving on to Katie: I thought all of the ideas you shared that you have for your future were really cool! Don’t let the fact that you’ve basically already settled on a career make you feel like you can’t go out into the world and to other things, which are sometime going to be completely unrelated to said career. It was so interesting, just hearing about the things you’re invested in doing. I feel like I learned a lot about you that I didn’t know before. It’s incredible to me that you have such a clear and specific vision for your future… not just know that you want to do something with the harp, but knowing what programs you want to be a part of, realistic ideas of where you’re going to end up and doing what. I also like the idea of a really fancy fundraiser. Considering that I, of course, will be very rich, you’ll have to invite me! Haha.

[I meant to write more in response to Katie... but forgot... haha]

February 10^th, 2010

It is like the Antarctic here. The snow, you know, I could deal with… it was a bit excessive, and I was starting to pine for the sight of grass or concrete or anything that wasn’t blindingly white, basically, but it was pretty in its own way. Then today the wind picked up.

I’ve never experienced wind like this. It’s so strong it makes you stagger when you walk, makes it hard to put one foot in front of the other, literally. And out on the drill field… you know how it is at the beach when the wind picks up, the sand starts flying everywhere, biting into your legs and ankles? It’s like a thousand little stings every instant, adding up to a sort of exquisite pain that’s somewhere between discomfort and serious injury. Well, imagine that, but instead of sand, we have snow, and that snow is freezing cold, intensifying every sensation. It is, in short, not fun. And as I sit now up against the wall in the common room outside of my dorm, I can literally feel the wall MOVING, swelling with each gust that’s distractingly audible from this vantage, whistling around the tower at all hours of the day and night. I feel the wall straining against my back, almost as if it’s inflating, and then comes the release. This makes me feel relatively unsafe… walls are not supposed to flex and relax like this. It’s like I’m leaning up against the chest of the tower, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of every breath.

The Young Dems meeting last night was really interesting. We had a guest speaker- a professor of African Studies and Black Religions here at Tech… what this man was advocating was the putting into practice of the “delinking theory”, which suggests total separation of Africa from the West. Like… I can’t remember the last time anything has challenged my notions of right and wrong the way his presentation did. We all agree that the West has inflicted pain on Africa in many ways- slavery and Colonialism being foremost among those that come to mind. There’s nothing radical about that. But what this professor had to suggest was that absolutely no interaction that the West has had with Africa has been good for the continent. He talked about how the activities of the Peace Corp have been devastating to Africa… how missionary work there has done the indigenous peoples a huge disservice… how it’s impossible for us to have anything to do with Africa without imposing our Western concepts on them, concepts which will never fit their lifestyle or work for them as a people. It was really disturbing, some of the things he said… issues like AIDs, female circumcision (which he pointed out is often referred to as “female genitalia mutilation”, a phrase that’s loaded with Western values), genocide, are things that we should all just leave alone. The bit about female circumcision especially got to some people, and so we ended up having a more lengthy discussion about that in particular. Someone asked how it could possibly be okay for men to do that sort of thing to women, how we could allow that sort of brutality to persist. He then talked about how the West infantilizes Africa, acts as if these women can not act, speak, or think for themselves, as if there would be no reason that they would WANT to have that done to them, and then assured as that quite the contrary is true. “African women are very strong” he said “They are not blindly allowing themselves and their daughters to undergo this procedure. They are the ones who control the ritual, in fact.” Then someone pointed out “It just seems like they’re being subjected to pain and deprived of pleasure.” He said that our cultures just had very different ideas of what exactly pain and pleasure are. “What is that thing called, where the men, they run around in tights and hug and tackle each other?” he said. “Aah yes, football. To you Westerners, pain is very acceptable in that arena.” But football players choose to do that, someone said. He replied that women in fact choose to undergo circumcision, because it’s a tradition, because it’s part of their culture, because it has a significance to them that you can not comprehend. “Do you think they would not look at some of the things American women undergo and see it as subjugation and mutilation? Augmentations, liposuctions, all these plastic surgeries and fad diets and eating disorders.” It was a disturbing and compelling idea. He talked about how Truth is a very Western concept, that many languages have no word or expression for Truth. He talked about how the concept of Africa itself is entirely Western and very recent, and not something that was either logical to nor good for the actually peoples residing in Africa. It was incredible, being made to see how little the things we hold dear, like Truth, or Freedom, or Equality, translate into other frames of mind. The quintessential American values have no meaning to these people, and that, in this speaker’s opinion, is as it should be allowed to remain. “Progress is not something that Africans strive for. You are born, and you are excited by the knowledge that when you die, things will be very different, you will live in a very different world. They are born, and they are glad to know that when they die, things will be just as they were the day they were born. You can not argue that progress is good for, much less inevitable in a country where such a concept does not even exist, is not even on the radar.” Being the group of bleeding heart, save the world liberals that we are, more or less, it was hard to hear that some of our greatest aspirations (working for the Peace Corp, doing missionary work, stopping genocide and AIDs and all of Africa’s ills through policy and activism and cooperation on an international scale) where in fact, in this man’s opinion, the root of a great deal of evil. But it was impossible to sit there and think “Well, I’m right and he’s wrong to say that we shouldn’t help these people, try to ease human suffering” because he made such a compelling case for his position. He said that he is not here to educate, not here to spread knowledge… he is here to politicize knowledge, he is at war with the ideas of his opposition. He was, needless to say, extremely charismatic. And he had a really cool accent. I would definitely want every person who thinks about going to Africa (and that includes some of you, come to think of it) to hear what he has to say on the subject. I’m not saying I’m converted… but I definitely see the world in a different light than I did yesterday. And it’s definitely given me pause in terms of what’s right and what’s wrong. He said that the United States has 740-something military bases in other countries, and he said that that statistic should terrify us. We infantilize the rest of the world in the name of helping them, developing them, and we think that we know what’s best and so we impose our idea of what’s best on everyone else. It’s very clear that the United States wants to make the rules and not follow them, want to make everyone else accountable to her but be accountable to no one. He sited one fairly recently elected African leader (I can’t remember who) who said that he would be happy to continue to allow the United States to have a military base in his country if we would allow his country to set up a military base in Florida. This statistic did, in fact, terrify me, but for other reasons than the ones he was getting at. It is absurd to think that we should financially support 740-something military bases in these economic times. Defense is the most grotesquely inflated part of our budget. When American people are suffering, why are we expending so many of our resources in other countries that in many cases did not ask for and do not appreciate our presence there? That is something I can definitely get on board with.

-Lizz