August 30th, 2009

Truth or Truth: In what way is college most and least like you expected it to be? What is your biggest relief about college life? What is your biggest annoyance so far?

At any rate, what’s up with me these days… I finished putting up the last of my posters today! I also bought those “Wall Pop” things, like the big colorful shapes you stick up on the wall? I got them in blue and orange, since that’s my room’s color theme… I think they brighten up the room a lot! Now I just want to get a large standing lamp, so we don’t have to use to overhead fluorescent light as often, and maybe a second fan (although I’m not sure that would be worth it, since it’s already starting to cool down here). In other room-décor news, as all of you know already, I got a fish! Actually we, as in Reed and I, got a fish, but he’s living here for now. I really adore him, it’s kind of funny… well I’ll just tell you the whole story.

We decided, for our nine month anniversary, to get a fish as just like a cute thing to do together, you know? So we went out to the pet store in Christiansburg (where the Target and grocery store and everything is) to have a look around. At first we were thinking a goldfish… they had really cute normal-looking ones, and some kinda cool calico ones, and some pretty badass black goldfish even. We knew we didn’t want a tank or anything if we could avoid it, like just a standard fish bowl would be the easiest in the dorms, so we got to talking to one of the employees about whether or not we should just go with the standard goldfish, in that sort of environment. He said that a goldfish would actually be unlikely to do well in a fish bowl, because they’re really dirty fish and so they’re better suited to an oxygenated tank… which, you know, I always kept goldfish in bowls when I was a kid and they lived for, like, years (at least until Meghan killed that one… :P), but we definitely wanted to play it safe, so the pet store guy suggested a beta fish. He said that they’re really hardy and do really well in bowls, so went over to check them out. I actually hadn’t even noticed them when we first were looking around at all the fish because they were each in their own little individual cup (because they have really long, pretty fins, they have to be kept away from other fish so that their fins don’t get nipped and nibbled at), but there were so many really pretty ones to choose from! It came down to one that was all maroon, one that was, like, electric blue fading into dark blue, and the one we chose, which is purple and red. I even think he looks like a Vergil! So we picked out Vergil, and got some red and magenta colored rocks to complement his color scheme, got a sunken pirate ship and a little plastic plant for decoration, got some water cleaner and some beta food, and we were all set! The guy who was helping us said we don’t even need a snail to clean the bowl, because betas aren’t that dirty, though Reed wants to get one anyway, just for fun, and name it Homer (we have to wait on that though, because if we got the snail when the bowl is perfectly clean it’d probably starve to death). The only downside is that betas don’t get along with other betas, so we couldn’t get two, like we were thinking of doing with the goldfish. But still, I totally love Vergil and I don’t think we could have gotten a more awesome fish… he seems really happy.

In other news… it’s been a pretty quiet weekend. Friday, Reed and I just hung out around the dorms and went to Gobblerfest for a while, which is like the annual activities fair where all the clubs and organizations put out booths and stuff. We went over the BreakZone (which was open extra late because of Gobblerfest), which is where we have all our pool, darts, bowling, table tennis, etc, and played ping-pong for a really long time… that was fun. I hadn’t been over there before, so it was cool to check it out at least. Saturday night we ended up spending playing cards with V.J., Reed’s roommate… we considered going out, but I dunno, it just didn’t seem that appealing. Cards was really really fun though… after we finished up we did go out to meet up with David for a while, to smoke hookah and stuff… it was pretty lame. Like not lame-lame, like there were tons of people there and they were all having a really good time, but lame for us, because, like, I dunno, all those people just seem so cheesy and fake. Once again, Reed and I just ended up talking to each other about how weird everyone else is… we were out in front of D2, which is like our largest dining hall, and there were a bunch of different groups of students, including ours, sitting at the tables out there, and people would randomly start chanting “Let’s go Hokies” and stuff like that, and I was like “What the fuck, it’s two in the morning and nothing about this situation calls for school spirit, seriously!” So we bailed on that pretty quickly… David’s such a socialite, about a million people came up to him and were like “Hey, didn’t I meet you at a party the other night?” and he just kept saying things like “I respect that” and “sick” and referring to people as “playa” and “bud”. I just can’t stand the smarmy-ness of it all, you know? At least Tyler wasn’t there.

So that’s been my weekend. So far I’ve managed to not get anything done today, which I’m sure I’ll regret tomorrow, but whatever. Tech’s football season opens next weekend at Alabama, which should be exciting… potentially devastating… but then the weekend after is the Marshall game, which I’m still waiting to see if I’ve got a ticket for. Nothing in particular is going on this week… I’m hoping I get more into the rhythm of things. I’m trying to get my family to come out and visit sometime in the next month, so hopefully that’ll work out… my birthday’s coming up, which I’m excited for… so that’s my life right now. I’m thinking of trying to find some sort of activity to get involved with, just to give me something to do… maybe an intramural sport, like putt-putt tournament or bowling or something :P. I could definitely do that. At any rate, we’ll see. So you all get back to me about that Truth or Truth, and how your first real weekend at college went!

Also, Chrissy, I commented your last post, it just doesn't show up on the page. You have to click "view comment". Haha :P.

August 30th, 2009

Please ignore the large white rectangle in the middle of the second picture... I wanted you all to see Vergil but I couldn't get a decent picture without flash. I will probably put up more photos later!

OMG WHAT AM I GONNA DO FOR MY 19TH BDAY PARTY!!!?????!?!? *cough* sorry spaz moment

August 29th, 2009

“He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.”

I’m sitting here, watching the Teddy Kennedy funeral, crying. I was, like, really upset when I heard the other morning, heard that he’d died, but… when someone close to you dies, it’s hardest when you first hear of it. When someone you don’t know dies, like a celebrity or an acquaintance, the funeral is the hardest part, because it hits you, the full extent of what you’ve lost, but more poignantly, exactly what the world has lost. I think that’s the way it goes.

“If I were in heaven, I should be extremely miserable… I dreamt once that I was there… I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy.”

I’m really blessed. I’m not one to say things like that, because I think that if I’m being completely honest with myself, I don’t believe in such things as “blessed”, because I don’t believe in such things as gods and heavens and prayers and miracles. But if there were a God who decided randomly to bestow favor on certain people (and it couldn’t be other than random, or how would I have ever found myself a beneficiate), I would be blessed. If college has imparted one lesson on me so far, it’s that there’s a lot of mendacity and superficiality out there, I think particularly at the age we’re at now. Every guy’s facebook status that pops up on my news feed says something like “Crazy night last night!” or “Sick parties this weekend.” Every guy I pass on campus seems to be talking about where the next frat party’s gonna be at or how drunk he got a few nights ago. Even the girls are bad… last weekend, and I believe I already alluded to this, I went out with some girls from my hall, all of whom had boyfriends, and they were wearing dresses I’d feel indecent using as nightgowns and heels that a transvestite couldn’t walk a city block in, I swear. They have butterfly tattoos on their lower backs and whole wardrobes full of too-short shirts to show off said tattoos, and write things on one another’s dry erase boards, which, as I’m sure you’re all experiencing, everyone hangs on their dorm room door, like “Hey, you girls wanna meet up at Bible study tonight?” and it makes me so uneasy. It seems like if you’re not fake, your priorities are just horribly skewed… and I wonder how in the world I managed to find something real in all this mess. The more time I spend at college, the more I realize what a truly rare thing it is, what I have with Reed. It’s not easy, I’ll say that, but it’s… well, I don’t know anyone at all who’s had this sort of experience.

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.”

I have real love in my life… and, you know, this is a different sort of thing than real love between family members or real love between friends (which, I hope you all know, I value immensely), because those kinds of love help you define and establish your identity, whereas this… subsumes it. You become less yourself, because you- your personality, your future plans, your desires, your sadness- are bounded solidly to those of another person. The words “sacrifice”, “commitment”, and “security” take on whole new meanings. Last night and this morning have been… a taste of what I want for the rest of my life. Last night I curled up in bed with Reed, we had sex, and then fell asleep in each other’s arms and slept through the night until morning, when we woke up in each other’s arms and had sex again. I don’t mean to be crude, because it was the most clean and beautiful thing, and I hope you all understand that there is a point I’m trying to make, that this isn’t just me telling you stuff you probably don’t want to know about my sex life… my point is that I’ve found something that isn’t just fun and relevant and satisfying to me now. I’ve found something that is going to be fun and relevant and satisfying to me every day for the rest of my life, and it deprives me of the drive to even want anything else. Reed once said to me “I love you and I’m always going to love you, I’m going to love you when I’m old and weak and I’m dying, and I’m going to die and you’re going to be right there next to me.” It makes me cry, to remember him saying that… it’s intense and morbid and frightening and breathtaking, and how many people get to hear that in their lifetimes? We have the sense of certainty that comes from our notable maturity as people, the passion that comes from our physical youth and naivety, the self-awareness that comes from our above-average intellect, and the tenderness that comes from our own surprise at this rare combination of features. I don’t think everyone gets to have all that in their lives, and so I say that I’m blessed, in a desperate attempt to explain or convey this strange and good thing that’s happened to me.

I think my parents know that I intend to marry Reed, though I’ve never said so to them. I learned, several days after my mom and dad dropped me off here at college, that my dad had spoken briefly to Reed, alone, before they left. It was mostly the usual father stuff- make sure she stays safe, keep her focused on her studies- but Reed mentioned one thing specifically that my dad had said that caught my attention: at the very end of the exchange, my father said to him “Be good to each to each other.” Walter is a sentimental man, and so I know that it wasn’t without purpose that he told Reed that… on the day of my mom and dad’s wedding, those were the exact words that my dad’s father, my Grandpop, said to my mother, as a sort of final and ultimate piece of advice. So I think my dad knows just how serious I am about this… and I think that’s his way of showing he approves.

So I’m happy, and sad, and thoughtful, and ready for the air to get colder and ready to further retreat into something intellectually and emotionally stimulating. I want to share more than just what I’m doing here at college… I want to share, like I always have, how I feel about it and what I think about it. I want to know what you feel and what you think about too. So share.

ओने वीक डाउन

One Week Down!!
Wow it seems like a lot has happened. Like the start of the new school year. Weird because the weekend right before this week i was in NY for my uncle’s funeral. Feels like forever ago. Hmm I still need to take my car in to get the spare tire replace for a real tire. Lol

So I have four classes। (I feel like a slacker compared to you guys =p)

Monday I have English Comp 111। From 2-4:50। Seriously। It’s freakin’ AP Lit again। O well. At least I know what to expect. My professor is nice in general. Will see more in the future. Then on Tuesday (and Thursdays) from 11-12:15 is College Algebra. I think my professor is Russian or some Eastern European because she has a bit of an accent and her name is Tatiana Golubt. Right now everything is review. I’m trying to do everything in my power to avoid pre-cal. probably next semester I’ll take stats to fulfill my math requirements.

(quick note. Whenever I say “Professor” I feel like I have to say it with a British accent. ^^ haha dorky moment.)
Also on Tuesday I have world history from 2-4:50pm oh! MADDIE IS IN MY CLASS!!!!!!! Hahahha it’s cool cuz we sit next to each other। I was like, “takes you back to times in 6th grade in Ms Dunn’s English class।” We saw Sam Rees before class and he was telling us about our instructor, Mr Biank। (“BEE-AUNK” । । . yes I wrote it like that so i could remember how to pronounce his name.) he’s a very stern older man. He cares about attendance and “doesn’t take nonsense” A military man, graduated from West Point and some other big shot universities for grad school. And a Vietnam vet. I think he could shoot bullets from his eyes because he’s so mentally butch. However, he does know his stuff. Despite the first impression of scariness, I think I will like his class.

Finally, on Wednesday I have Intro to Sociology. I know I’m going to like that class. I find the material to be super interesting and my class looks diverse in general. The professor of that class looks like a cartoon. Honestly, if there was a cartoon version of a middle aged average sized man, it would be him. =p

Hmmm so last week on Wednesday, the Foxes left. I swear there were so many people crying it was insane. I didn’t cry until I was alone in the car on the way home. But you see I didn’t cry just for them. That’s when it really hit me that you guys were gone, too. Mark and Matthew had some many people (more girls I might add) said goodbyes and long hugs and tears. We didn’t really have any big final goodbye thing. . . well kinda but yeah. Couldn’t help but have a feeling of abandonment. I mean ALL the people and I really care about leaving. (not that you guys are leaving me, but everything you know as home too, but still, the feeling came). . . wahhh Erin left for Radford today too!!!

Well to change gears, there some attractive guys in some of my classes. So that’s cool! Haha I do होप to make new friends. Oh! I saw my semi-stalker Alex. We talked for a little bit and he seemed to be
doing good. He doesn’t have a Mohawk anymore. I think he looks nicer that way. Oh and I saw Zach on Wednesday. He actually looks good. He’s way taller than me, which is nice and I think he’s been losing weight and toning up. (not that he was fat or chubby to begin with) oh in case I didn’t tell you just some info on him. Zach is our age, signed up for the Army leaving in January. His job in the army is like Human Intelligence or something like that. Right now he works at the Mariott Hotel Fairview or whatever on Richmond road. A desk manager person. He said that they’re hiring and he could recommend me. I might look in on that.

I over think too much. Just sorta realized that I have been thinking of Zach a lot. Like in general –not romantic wise. Like at Praise and Worship when I first saw him, my heart didn’t race or anything. It was “oh he’s here.” But I was really aware whenever he was standing next to me. (he smells nice. Hahahaah. Oh god) Sure I flirt with him. W banter back and forth. . . I guess I might be leading him on. But it’s fun. Is that bad? Like, i want to just len on him, and I bet he’d let me. But that’s pretty much it. I must really be in need of some desperate contact. =/ zach gives decent hugs too. but not as good as Mark and Matthew. Hhahah not to be extremely lame but when mark hugged my goodbye (well like the bajillion times that we hugged) it felt like a perfect fit. (don’t worry, I’m slowly getting over this one-sided love xD)
Funny random thing, I think my mom hates mark. Okay well not hate but strongly dislikes him. She’s all “he was messing with your feelings, even if he didn’t realize it he was still fucking with my daughter’s feelings!” hahaha aww. But whatever. Things are. . . just happening ,I guess you could say. Oh and my dad is coming back to the States on the 7th! And my Grandma Irene, Aunts, cousin Kristen and new baby girl Maya are all coming down on the 18th. . . in my house. It’s gonna be a party! hahaha

...

ahh, sry, that last one's a little hard to read...:)

One full week of classes...

yeah, i'm finally getting to post about classes! haha, yeah, i dunno, i'm not sure i feel like i'm at college...i feel like i'm at saratoga or some other camp but just have classes to go to instead of harp stuff all the time. Anyways, i do have harp stuff all the time to go, ha, but lots of classes with it too! I also met my piano teacher yesterday, and she's pretty cool, a grad student. I think i might be ok in my classes except ear training and sight-singing....i fail at everything in that class, no joke. I did in AP Music, and i wouldn't be surprised if i do here....but anyways, my other 6 classes seem manageable! And Mrs. Richter (harp teacher) put me in the first orchestra concert, so i guess i'll have to start going to those rehearsals, which i'm a little nervous about, cause i don't even have the music yet, but i'm playing alongside an upperclassman, so i should be ok...and ok, my French class? well, i kinda figured the professor would walk in speaking nothing but French and all confusing and whatnot, but it still was a little intimidating at first, cause there's only one other freshman in the class, and i was talking to her afterwards, and she was like, "oh yeah, i spent six weeks living in france etc." and i was like, "oh...i haven't" so we'll see how i manage that class...though the sophomore harpist is in there, so i actually know someone other than the other freshman girl! haha, yeah, i've ran into a couple guys from my orientation group and stuff, and so i'm getting to hang out more with people, though i'm mostly in class...haha, but there's also some really cool girls in my hall that i've been hanging out with a lot, so yeah! haha, and sry if i'm bad with responding to texts lately...i feel like there's so many things to respond to...facebook posts, threads, texts, and now both e-mail accounts! so, finally, now the weekend!!! so glad it's the weekend, and i think the harpists and i are going to the city tomorrow for lunch and to buy tickets for a Josh Bell concert (it has lots of good harp parts in it)...so, first trip to Indy this year! yeah, at first, i though it was weird when people called it the city or Indy...i am now fully used to it...haha, well, have an awesome weekend!!

New Perspective

One full of week of classes is now done!

Honestly, like Bailey said, this is a lot easier then I though it would be. It's a lot of reading but reading isn't hard for me so it's not any effort to read a few chapters in all my textbooks every evening. Not to mention all the gaps in my classes throughout the day leaves plenty of time to get all my work done. It's like in high school we went to school for six hours straight and then went home with at least two or three more hours worth of homework. Here I don't ever feel like my schoolwork is a hassle. I hope that keeps up.

So my classes. I guess I'll just go through all of them...

So my sociology class is by far the weirdest and most confusing. It's a three hour course but the class only meets for a lecture once a week with one professor, then we do an hour of online audio lectures and then another hour is spent in a lab class in which we are broken down into little discussion groups. Our textbook was written by our professor and is all online...which is such a hassle! Today I went to the lecture part of it and I'm still trying to figure out what exactly I'm going to get out of this class. The lecture group is huge and the professor likes to go off on tangents about his very liberal views on things. It should be interesting, definitely, but I'm not sure it'll be of any use to me.

My statistics class would have to be my least favorite class. It also happens to be the class I have the most times in a week. That's annoying. It's super easy, the teacher is super boring, and the only reason I'm even bothering going to class is because we're graded on answers we have to turn in on a CPS remote during class. How lame. On the plus side the material is all stuff I learned last year in my prob. stats. class, so it certainly won't be a struggle. And there's no final exam! Also I'm pretty sure every single one of my teacher's drops the lowest test grade at the end of the semester. Yesss!

My university 101 class is such a joke, as well. It's my one class on the MCV campus. I can see that becoming pretty annoying later in the semester since you have to head over nearly an hour prior to the class in order to accommodate the bus running late and travel time. My teacher is super hardcore about us being there, though, and the only thing we're getting graded on is attendance. I'm excited that in November we're going to get to go to the MCV hospital for the first time and shadow the nurses there!! I guess that makes the class worth it....sort've.

Psychology would have to be my favorite class. Last night I was doing the reading in our textbook and it was all about neuroscience I realized how interested I am in that sort of thing. Who knows maybe I'll decide to specialize in neurology as opposed to orthopedics. The professor is awesome! He's really entertaining and he makes the lectures really interesting. That's another one of my lecture classes, with probably about 200 kids. I'm really excited for when we really get into the core material since right now we're just brushing the surface with introductory information.

That leaves my two bio classes. My lab only meets once a week and it's my longest class-2 hours. My professor is a grad student. He's very cute! I'm excited about that class too. Oh, Katie you would appreciate that we'll be dissecting rats like in anatomy. Maybe I'll get Bert's relative. Basically in the lab we do a lab every week and then a quiz about each lab is given in the following class. Seems pretty simple. That's also my smallest class with only about 20 kids. Most of them are other nursing students though, so not much room to meet knew kids...unfortunately.

My general biology class is my biggest class with about 300 kids. The lecture hall is huge. I am also pretty convinced that my professor isn't very smart. During yesterday's class she proceeded to read directly off her powerpoint which was straight from the book. It's going to be hard to muster up the energy to go that class since it's at 7:00 at night and seems to be not worth my time. The only plus side of that class is it's the only class where I feel like I don't need to sit near the other nursing students. John is in that class (Mills, not Cerminara...obviously) So we sit together. It's a nice break.

Funn stuff. In my last post I think I mentioned that I didn't feel like me and my roommate were really going to be friends, but we actually bonded the other day when we went to study together. Basically since Monday me and her have been doing a lot of stuff together so that's nice. Lizz, I though it was funny that you mentioned that all the girls on your floor go to the gym together to bond...that's so true! Except...I'm definitely in on that. We either go get food together or go to the gym together. I'm feeling like it's not going to be that hard to make girlfriends up here but I'm sorely missing having guy friends!!! I'm hoping as the semester continues I'll find more opportunities to actually meet guys. The other day we ran into this guy named Ben who's in pre-nursing which means probably next year or next semester he'll be joining the nursing program. He was very cute and seemed really nice, so who knows, maybe other guys like that will be showing up. I didn't realize until I got here how many guys are actually in nursing. It's unfortunate they're not actually in my group, most of the ones I saw were upperclassmen but it's still nice to see.

That's all for now, I'm off to find dinner.

Love you!!

Oh I meant to mention, the boys here have the BEST jeans ever! I know it seems like such a bizarre thing to notice, but honestly i've never seen so many boys with nice jeans that look good on them. These VCU boys clearly know how to shop. :-P

-Cougzzz

August 25th, 2009

Bailey, you would have already found two “hot” profs at FSU. You would. And Katie, you would be taking 19 hours this semester, you really would. And Mika… umm… nothing.

So I’m through my first cycle of classes! Let’s see… I like my MWF schedule better (which I guess is a good thing) because I start later and end earlier. I also do not understand how y’all are taking, like, four classes a day! I have two a day and I’m still getting fifteen hours this semester, what are you guys doing?? But at any rate, so first I had Intro to Communication, which seems like it’ll be sweet! I met a possible prospective girlfriend on the way over to that class, when we discovered in the elevator on the way down that we were both headed to the same place. We didn’t talk much (just the usual “Where are you from?”, “What’s your major”, etc), but we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up before class again from now on, so… maybe! Haha, I’m definitely not doing too well on the “making friends” front… but let’s be real, it’s my fault and it’s because I don’t care right now, I’m just so caught up in everything else.

So anyways, Comm is about 300 people, the professor seems nice enough, it’s one of those classes where all our grades are tests and there are five of them and that’s it. I like that format a lot. Also we don’t have a final exam, which is sweet. The subject matter seems really interesting too, it’s just about like “the social process in which individuals employ symbols to establish and interpret meaning in their environment.” Basically it’s like the psychology of interaction… I think it’ll actually be kind of useful, like in terms of reading people and mediating situations. That was at 9:05 and then at 10:10 I had my first Spanish class! By far the smallest of my classes, it’s like 25 people… the teacher is young, and seems sweet… she’s from Puerto Rico, and sometimes it’s hard to understand her accent. I guess that doesn’t matter that much though, since after the first week the class is supposed to be taught all in Spanish :S! That’s crazy to think about… but I feel like that has the potential to be the most fulfilling of all my classes, like I’m actually acquiring a skill, you know? We did the basic, like, learning greetings and saying “my name is” and “pleased to meet you” and “where are you from?”. So overall, a really engaging first day! Not to mention it’s absolutely amazing, being done at 11:00 in the morning :D.

I had a significant amount of homework my first day- two chapters to read for Comm. (usually we have, like, two a week, but this stuff is really basic so we go through it quickly) and a couple pages to read for Spanish (in Spanish… the text book is all in Spanish…) and some activities to write out, plus it took ages just to learn how scholar and blackboard work (do y’all have those?). I know that those sorts of assignments will quickly get old, but isn’t there something sort of pleasing about getting real work done?

Today I had my 8:00, Intro to European History (15^th century to the present). My professor for that class is definitely the most laid-back I’ve encountered. He (speaking of which, I didn’t know he was a “he” until I saw that is first name is David :P) lets you make up missed tests, drops the lowest test grade (that’s another class where our only grades are our tests), no final exam… it’s gonna be wordd. It’s a little bit early for me, but Reed’s in that class so we’ll have fun, and obviously I’m really into history, so that’ll be good. There’s probably about 150 kids in that class, so by no means my largest, and in general I think it’ll be a good experience.

My next class was the dreaded Geology at 11:00. I mean, it’s never gonna be my favorite, but it’s not, like, literally a class about rocks. It’s a lot about storms and volcanoes and the ozone and stuff, which, once again, is not my forte, but at least it could be interesting. That’s my largest class at about 450 students, so if nothing else I can surf the internet, text, sleep, whatever… that’s definitely gonna be the class I’ll be most tempted to skip. Still, there are certain incentives he gives you to come to class- he shows one test question at the end of every class, and he doesn’t post all the assignments online and stuff. Still, I’m amazed by how online all my classes are! Like everything is done through e-mail, scholar, and blackboard, it’s crazy. I’m also amazed at how short all these classes are! They’re like fifty minutes each, all of them! But anyway, I can pass the time in there quickly enough, and my professor at least is funny and knows where it’s at, he was like “Many of you may be taking this class because it’s the easiest way to fulfill your science credit.” Right on, buster. The only other plus-side is that there’s no required reading for that class.

So overall I think my classes, and especially the actual timing of my schedule, are gonna be good. I still have to start my math class, but like I told you all, we do that completely independently, like on our own time. I’m gonna see if I can get the whole course done in like half a semester :P. That officially kicks off on Thursday, so one more day to not worry about it I guess.

As for my social life… my best friend here is Vitus, Reed’s (particularly attractive) roommate. Sad, yeahh… he’s a lot like Reed. None of us talk much, but we all like each other. Although it was a little awkward when he tried to come back to the dorm while we were having sex today, we had to be all like “Hang on a second!” But come on, it was the first time we’d had sex in a week (ooh my God, that was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done), we were in a desperate situation. And let me tell you, first ever sex as college kids rocked :D. Not to be too blunt about it, but it’s six o-clock at night as I write this and we’ve fucked like four times today :P. But anyway, I’m cool with Vitus, and as the days go on I’m spending less and less time in my own dorm and more and more time in theirs. The other day I had to go watch Reed play ping-pong with like fifteen other guys and I almost felt like I was home again… why can I not make girlfriends!? I know why, it’s actually y’alls fault because we’ve all been super tight for so long that I don’t know how to go through the process of becoming close with other girls, whereas I have lots of recent experience making friends with guys so I keep finding myself gravitating towards hanging out with guys! Like, for example, Reed’s hall is way more fun than mine, all the guys sit around and play video games in their rooms all day… the girls on my hall do things like go to the gym together. Eww. Though I met a few more of them the other day, they seem nice enough… just different. I can’t relate. Whatever, I’m having fun for the time being so I’m not going to stress about it.

I really am having fun. Last night I slept over with Reed… like, I can not tell you all how much I’ve wanted to do that for the past nine months. Like nothing secretive about it, no alarms to make me have to get up and go home… just falling asleep together and waking up together, it was wonderful. We’ve been fighting a bit more than usual since we got here, but I think it’s the stress of the whole adjustment, like no big deal. I never doubt how much we love each other, and I love getting to spend so much time with him.

Things are starting to feel like autumn here in Blacksburg, and I love it. The air is so cool and clean, and everything is taking on that golden hue, and a sense of brilliance and tragedy pervades the atmosphere. Bailey is right, college isn’t exactly what I expected it to be… but it’s good. I’m finally beginning to grasp that I’m not going home, that this is my home… and it doesn’t make me unhappy. I’m starting to get a clearer picture of the future, starting to feel like I’m living “the future” for the first time. This experience is like nothing else, being here. I really think I like it.

August 25, 9:29 am

I expected this to be a lot harder.

Unless my Poetry class this afternoon is awful, I'm going to have a relatively easy and honestly fun semester! All of my classes so far have seemed pretty chill, and my teachers have come across as nice and friendly and understanding. And young, all of them are young. My Intro. to Education teacher, as I think I've told most of you, is... So. Hot. Like, seriously. And not in my usual old and/or gay man way. He's 28 and, well, just really cool. So I'll let you know how that goes. ;D

Two of my classes that I've had so far, General Psychology and Family/Developmental Relationships, have been HUGE. Which I like, though even the smaller classes have had a much better feel than normal high school classes, even if they are the same size.

So I'm taking a FIG (Freshman Interest Group) for Education majors, and there are, I believe, thirteen girls in it altogether. We have four classes together (all my classes except for Stats and Poetry). All the girls are really nice, and most of us ate lunch together yesterday, walked around campus, etc. Two of them, Vanessa and Camille, and I seem to be getting to be better friends within that group as well, which is really cool. And two other girls plan on studying Special Education like me, so hopefully they'll be in more of my classes for the next few years, too. :)

One of the classes in our FIG is called a Colloquium, and before yesterday I literally had no idea what it was going to be like. But it seems like it'll be fun, like, we're supposed to basically talk about our other classes, we can study together if we need to, but the teacher (who's a third-year grad student for English Education) said that we'll pretty much just be discussing what we're learning about, and listening to music and going on field trips around the town:)

So things are going well, my friends. And as much as I miss all of you, I'm glad that we all have the opportunity to try something different for a while, a chance to get out and meet some new people and do some new things. This is not exactly what I expected college to be like, but so far it's pretty damn good.

Mika's Room :-)

Bailey's room!

August 24, 8:45 am

FIRST DAY OF CLASSES TODAY!!!

Well, four of my six classes...

Well. I don't really have anything to say. Except for Katie, you WOULD use the word "kitchenette."

;D

Oh and I saw two cute boyss yesterday at convocation. With one there's no hope, and the other one, well... I made eye contact with him a bunch and we were both laughing at the corny convocation jokes (being told by a particularly attractive history professor whose class I need to sign up for) and such. But again, there's like 40,000 people here, so chances are that I'll never see him again.

:S

Baileyyyy

Ball State...so much better than your guys' colleges...

hahaha Lizz, i'm actually a little chilly in my dorm half the time...because of our really woderful AC that we will use for a very brief period of time seeing as it's been in the 60s and low 70s already...soo...I am obviously pretty much fully moved in since i started Tuesday, and things are going pretty well. My roommate (Kristin) is really cool, and her and i seem to be becoming pretty good friends, though i've already started be really busy and i don't know how i've done that! My dorm (Dehority "DeHo") is soo sweet though. The day we moved in, they were caulking or whatever, like, everything is so new, and i'm so excited i'm in the honors college to get this. Random upperclassman walk and get really mad that there are freshman here, but, i mean, they should have just done Honors College...hah, anyways, yeahh, our rooms themselves are not very big, but they're not too small at all, and i like the new furniture, and of course our AC :) we have a big laundry room, a nice fitness room, and computer lab screens are hhugee, we have practice rooms (one with a piano), nice pool table, ping pong, wii, and xbox...and also random flatscreens everywhere...in the kitchenettes, even the laundry room...none of us are sure who will actually watch them all...but yeah, i'm on the first floor, but i'm not a main hallway. though the first floor is sometimes called a nunnery...it's the only all-girls floor (they are 4 floors, the rest of them coed) and i didn't request an all girls floor or anything, but that's what i got, so whatever, the all honors girls floor...haha, well, enough about my dorm, what else...ok, indiana.....it's weird...and everyone just asks you where you're from, and you just respond and they go through where that town is in relation to theirs...and i just sit there and say i have no idea where anything is in indiana...i'm from virginia....and i've gotten mixed reactions to that, but usually they just ask why i came here, haha, apparently most all indiana kids stay instate, like, my roommate and everyone keeps seeing people she knows from high school and everything....which maybe is kinda like JMU and stuff...but i think it's even more like that up here, haha, but i like Indiana people so far, so it's all good. tomorrow i have to see about getting into an aural skills class for my music major, and if i am successful with that, then i will be taking 19 credits! ahh, but i'll be deferring a credit, so we won't be paying anything more...but i'll still be going to 19 credits of class every week. I walked my classes yesterday, and i'll have to see how that goes tomorrow...i think i'm actually most excited about my french grammar class...i'm just wondering how many freshman are in it though, cause it's a 303 level class. Anyways, i didn't go to bed till 4 this morning because i was chilling in one of our lounges with some friends and guys we met outside late nite (party thingy...university sponsored though, don't worry) and actually one really just wanted to smoke hookah, which kept making me laugh and reminded me of williamsburg, but anyways i should go back to bed now, i just had to get up to go with someone to breakfast....much love! -Twinkxx

August 23rd, 2009

First of all, fuck all of you who have air conditioning, seriously. Fuck all of you. Second of all, ooh my God it’s going to be freezing-cold here in Blacksburg before long… today was kind of overcast, so when the sun was out it was hot but when the sun wasn’t out it was downright chilly all day! So that’s the weather from Blacksburg. Thirdly, Mika, what the fuck does it mean to look “ooh so Richmond”? Ooh, and there so are like a million Indie Hipsters up there, isn’t it ridiculous!? When I saw the Avett Brothers in Richmond the crowd was like 80% twenty-three year old Indie Hipsters. Ridiculous.

Things are starting to settle out, it’s interesting. I’m realizing that one advantage of not being really interested in pursuing a serious friendship with my roommate is that I really don’t have to be so worried about alienating her by making lots of tedious requests and demands regarding room etiquette (i.e. “Can you give me some serious heads-up when you’re out and you know that I, well, Reed and I are back at the room before you head back?”, “If the door is still locked when you get back, can you just cool your jets for a minute while we get stuff together?”, and “If, at that point, it’s late and we’re tired, can Reed just sleepover here, like all three of us in the room together?”).

I’m also realizing, as much as this sucks, that I do not seem to have a lot in common with the girls here :/. In some ways I’m glad, don’t get me wrong, because there all “Ooh my gosh, what should I wear to this party tonight?’’ and I get that, I get that they’re trying to meet guys and stuff, but… and even the ones who have boyfriends still dress like prostitutes and go out with out them and stuff, it sucks! I went to this party last night, met some people, drank some sketch punch out of a cooler, and promptly realized that Reed (who was with me) was way more fun to talk to than anyone there! Not that I really had a choice, to be honest… guys at parties don’t come up and talk to you when you’re standing there with another guy, like it’s ridiculous. I was standing around with the two girls who live across the hall from me (who both have boyfriends, mind you, though neither of them were there with them) and it was like I was invisible or something, like I was lucky if other guys bothered to introduce themselves to me. And obviously I couldn’t talk with any of the girls at the party because they were all busy being talked to by the guys! Sooo… I mean, it was fun, but it was fun because Reed was there to make it fun. The best friend I’ve made here so far is probably Reed’s roommate, V.J., and you’d hardly call us close… I’m really hoping the friend thing will just happen eventually, but I’m not gonna say I’m not concerned.

My room actually looks good now- we got a rug, put up some posters, got the fridge and T.V. and cable working (can’t say the same for the microwave or the iPod speakers/clock I have), and are starting to get rid of all the debris from moving in. So that’s cool… I might try to make my first batch of coffee this morning! Ooh, and I went and got groceries yesterday, so now I have plenty to eat. In fact, I’m kind of hogging up the fridge, but whatever… she got one that was too small anyway.

Today’s game-plan is basically to get textbooks, walk my classes, turn in my Pathways Planner (if you don’t know... let’s just say it was a really retarded and tedious assignment I had to do for the Honors College and leave it at that), find the gym, go to an Honors College meeting, go to a Residence Hall meeting, install my VTnet onto my computer, and… call the microwave company about our not-working microwave! So that’s what I’ll be up to… peace and love ladies, and also I wish you were here so I had friends :S/:P.

August 22, 2009

First official day of college that I slept in!

That might be in part to my roommate not being here and it also might be in part to me not getting back into my dorm room until 3:00 in the morning.

After a week of being slightly uneasy and feeling out of place with the people i was meeting, my first friday was pretty much...amazing. And so very quintessentially "collegey"

But before I get to that i'll start with explaining my first day of classes. So I had psychology, statistics, and biology. All three of those classes were massive lecture classes. I'm realizing the benefits and disadvantages to classes that are that big already. It's really nice that I can text or sleep or, basically, do anything I want while the class is going on. It's bad because you realize the professor is not going to know who the hell you are the entire semester probably. And you also probably won't meet half the people you're in class. Like yesterday I realized one of the girls in my suite is actually in my psych class...I had no idea! My first day of classes also let me see that there is no shortage of very cute boys here. And they're all tall and thin and look oh so Richmond. <-- That's one of the things that I found I had perfected before I got here...looking like i belong in richmond. It's nice to know I have that down. haha.

So on to friday. Well originally I was facing the weekend with something less then enthusiasm. Having no friday classes seemed a lot less welcome when you have nothing to do with that time. And since I'd already been sitting around for three days prior to the first day of classes, I wasn't looking forward to another three days of it. I spent most of Friday morning sitting around taking advantage of having no roommate for the day and playing my music on my speakers and itunes shopping. I had a bonding sesh in my suite's living room with some of the girls. Our RA, Kendra, joined in. She's this sassy black girl that's hilarious and really really nice and loves white boys. hahahaha.

After the bonding sesh me and one of the other nursing girls, Erica went to the SOVO Fair at the Siegal Center. I'm not sure if every other school calls it SOVO but it's basically all the student organizations and clubs that are offered at VCU. It was interesting, but I didn't see anything I was really into. And the only bad thing about going with Erica is she's really into all the student ministry stuff at VCU and I had to follow her around to all the different booths about it and listen to people "jesus talk" it was slightly uncomfortable. I left the SOVO Fair early though to go with my brother and Keith to the Richmond airport to meet my mom and pick up all the things I left at home before she left for Ohio for the weekend. I got my nalgene...and that is the most important thing. :-P

After my brother dropped me off at Brandt, me and my friend Kae decided to meet up for dinner at Shafer. The plus side to hanging out with Kae so much is that she knows basically everyone at VCU. She said practically all of her graduating class came to VCU. So it's working to my advantage. After dinner we met up with her sophomore friend, Sammy. We all decided to go to this club (i don't remember the name now) Kae told me that usually it's really ghetto and has only black people there, but one friday every month this company takes it over and it's not sketchy anymore. So we chilled around campus deciding what to wear and then around 11:00 we went over to Sammy's apartment. Her apartment is amazing! It's huge and she shares it with these three guys: Andy, Matt, and Scott. Let me tell you, Andy was amazingly cute! They were all chilling while me, Kae, and Sammy got ready. I of course was totally at ease as I sipped my "Mike's Harder" it was very good. But don't worry, I was being totally responsible. I only drank about 3/4 of one and I was only slightly tipsy. Around 12:30 we headed out to the club and met up with Kae and Sammy's gay hispanic friends Steven. He was...hilarious!! And then we also picked up their friend Ivanna. She was also really nice. The club was crazy and really funn and also very Richmond. There were lots of indie hipsters there and such. It's basically like prom or homecoming but a hundred times hotter and with hundreds more people. It was real real funn! A little before 2:00 me and Kae peaced out and headed back to our dorms. I was all ready to take a long shower (to wash the smell of smoke off of me) and drop into bed, but when I got up to my floor I ran into Erica going into the boys' room and I decided to join her.

Erica, Kendra, Giovanni, and Kyle were all waiting up for the other two boys Ryan and Gil to get back from a frat party. They were all betting that Ryan, who is very awkward and annoying, had gotten very drunk and would make a fool of himself. We kept calling Ryan's phone and putting him on speaker phone while he rambled on because he was so drunk. Then when he finally got back we had to coax him into getting into a shower and going to bed, so we put him in his room and waited out in the living room. But then we couldn't hear any movement in the room so Kendra went in to check, only to find him totally naked. So she goes running and screaming from the room and all of us get out of their quick in case he thinks it's a good idea to come out into the living room without clothing on. We all took refuge in Kendra's room. But then Ryan got really mad and punched the wall. :-S and then went to sleep. hahaha. It was nice though because I ended up bonding with Kyle and Kendra a lot more. And they're both cool people (and Kyle is also very very cute) .

Now it's nearly 2:00 on Saturday, I still haven't gotten out of my pjs and I just ate a bowl of Ramen. :-) I'm waiting around for tonight, me and Kae are going to see her friend, Josh's band play nearby. So that should be funn.

I know my post might be kind of boring but I figured I should fill you in since I finally did something interesting with my time here.

Love you guys!

-Cougzzz

Oh God, I am really in college!

So, here I am... the first morning after the first night in my new dorm! Honestly, I had expected some crappy little dark room, with nasty walls and no space and old furniture. But when I got here day before yesterday, I found that room 840 has an awesome view out the (huge) windows, plenty of space for all my stuff, new furniture (and brand-new bathrooms!), and... ok, the walls are a little dirty/slimy, but that can be fixed.

My roommate is really, really nice, and I feel like we'll be able to get along well. :) If anything, we've both been a little exhausted whenever we've been around each other so far, which has led to a prolonged silence or two during dorm-time. But I'm sure that will figure itself out soon, and we're planning on decorating our ceiling together (!!), which should be good for us.

From my window, I can see the Astronomy building, complete with huge telescopes on the roof, the state Capitol building, and the Student Union (waaay in the distance). The stadium is past the Union, but I can't see it from my room. That thing is ridiculous.

I printed out like, a hundred pictures before I left home, and after a ton of tack and tape and frustration, I got most of them up on my walls (above my bed, which is back in the wall, and over my desk). I also have a selection of Chazzz's artwork, The Academy Is... and Across the Universe posters, the Little Black Angels thing Twinkxx made me, and a Lafayette varsity letter which makes me seem well, intense.

I feel like this is a place I can deal with for the next eight months. It's a place where I already feel comfortable enough to sleep, to blog on here, and I think I'll be able to chill and have new friends over and... okay, not study maybe, but what else is new? I'm walking around the campus all day today, walking my classes and getting a feel for the attitude of the people walking the sidewalks with me, getting used to the intense heat and, worse yet, humidity. (But, luckily, I have the most intense AC on the planet which can chill the room to 61 degrees if we so desire!)

So, things may change, but they're good for now. I've never felt such an intense desire to start fresh. I want to pretend like much of the last ten years in my life didn't happen, all the bad stuff that happened during that time. And I think that's just what I'm gonna do. :)

August 21st, 2009

So instead of responding to all of your texts asking how my first day went individually, I thought I’d just post a blog about it :).

I got up here around 12:00 and we had lunch in Blacksburg first thing. It’s still a little bit warmer than is entirely comfortable, but definitely more pleasant than it is in Williamsburg (though I can’t say the same for the dorms, which are sweltering). After lunch we went to move in- West A.J. is beautiful on the outside and really close to everything that matters, like the best dining halls, the football stadium, and, of course, Slusher, Reed’s dorm. I’m on the sixth floor, which has a girls’ wing and a boys’ wing, down the main hall of the girls’ wing and then down another hall that shoots off of the main hall, at the very end. I love being not actually on the main hall (much quieter, plus our little “sub-hall” is a much more manageable sized group of girls to try to get to know).

It was a pain getting everything up here and even more so a pain trying to assemble the loft, but they make the frat boys and football players do most of the heavy lifting for you :D. My room is definitely shaping up, but it’s not all put together yet. Still, I think it’ll be really cute! We lofted my bed and left Fariha’s low to the ground, but the layout is good because we both have considerable space and privacy, and everything’s easily accessible. It’ll look nicer once I put up my posters and we get a rug in here though. We have a big mirror and a great view of campus and tons, I mean TONS of storage space, so I had no trouble finding somewhere convenient for everything I brought.

Fariha and I set up and chatted a bit and she seems really nice, though I don’t know how much I see it being a serious friendship, which is a bit of a downer :/. It’s just that, first of all, she came to college with a bunch of her high school friends, so it seems like it’d be awkward to impose myself on that already established clique, you know? And secondly, the friends she came with from high school seem to be Asian, so… you guys know what I mean :P. Anyway, that’s a bummer, and I feel bad because I didn’t get around to really talking to any of the other girls on my sub-hall, so I’m definitely still stressing out about the whole “making friends” thing. Still, it’s Friday night and you could definitely tell that everyone was looking for a party, so I think that sort of mentality will be good for meeting people. Like, people were just walking down the hall and stopping at all the doors and to be like “You coming out tonight?” Reed and I are definitely going to be doing the party scene tomorrow I think… to be honest, it’s not something I’m especially psyched about at this point. But whatever, I’ll go just to meet people.

At any rate, back to today, so one of Fariha’s friends came by and hung out for a bit and then Reed came over and they left and he helped me unpack some more, and then we went over to his room and I met “V.J.”, his roommate, who seems totally normal and cute and actually a lot like Reed in temperament. They showed me their room, gave me some of their snacks, and then Reed and I went out to dinner with our families, like all together. I’m glad our families get on so well, they all really hit it off. I was about ready to collapse by the end of dinner, so Reed and I left (I already love the fact that he has a car- not only is it convenient for getting places, it’s a great back-up plan when we want to have sex and can’t get any alone time :P). We went back to his room to get the Office and then back to my room to watch it (Fariha was already out at some shin-dig… we didn’t get to break in my new bed though, on account of T.O.M. and this little challenge we’ve given ourselves to not do anything sexual for a week- no oral, no masturbating, basically no cumming-… it’s three days in and I’m going crazy, by the way).

When Fariha got back, Reed went back to his dorm, and I was so freaking sweaty from, literally, just sitting around in these dorms that I decided I could not possibly sleep without having a shower (I like to shower in the morning, you see). No one else was in the showers when I was there, which took some of the pressure off, but… it’s weird. Our showering facility is just a room off of the bathroom with really shallow stalls all along the walls, like bathroom stalls that don’t go to the floor or ceiling, but instead of a door into the stall there’s just a shower curtain, and drains in the floor. It’s not horrible… the water took a long time to warm up and there wasn’t much room, but the water pressure was good and I had a little stool in there to put stuff on and help me maneuver. So it’s never going to be a luxurious experience or anything but it definitely wasn’t traumatic and won’t be hard to get used to.

Now I’m back at the dorm… one thing I can see now is that I’m not going to get as much sleep as I’m used to here :S. Between staying up late, to be social and get alone time with Reed and whatnot (plus the fact that Fariha seems to stay up really late), and having all morning classes, I’ll have to find time for afternoon naps or something I guess.

As for the rest of my weekend, tomorrow is when I’ll get the rest of my dorm stuff set up, pick up my books and school supplies, and say goodbye to my parents. There’s also a football scrimmage, so we’ll be tailgating before that and then heading on over to the stadium. I’m PSYCHED! The only bad part is that Tyler will be there… I’m never in my life going to pretend I like that kid again. But after the game Reed’s parents will leave and then we’ll try to actually be social and not like a boring old married couple, just staying in and watching movies on the weekends :P. David’s apparently been drunk since he got here, so we’ll ask him what’s up. Sunday I have a bunch of meetings, like for my residence hall, Honors College, major, etc, and I’m going to walk my classes in preparation for Monday. So that’s basically the plan!

I officially totally feel like I could get used to this college thing. Besides the friends issue, all of my fears about dorm life have been totally assuaged! I have space for all my stuff, my bed is super comfy, and I think my lack of modesty will definitely come in handy here. Also… I really love being at college with Reed :). I look at all these girls here who are desperate to meet guys in the hopes that one of them will actually be decent enough to date and then I look at myself, on my first day at college, with this hot college boy in my bed kissing on me and I can’t help but to be incredibly glad for the time being to have escaped the college dating scene… and more importantly, just glad to have found the love of my life. I knew by the time Reed left tonight that I have never made a better decision than my decision to come to Tech, for him. So I’m feeling pretty good right now :D.

That’s my first day people, now I wanna hear all about yours! Keep me posted and I’ll do the same for you.

August 19th, 2009

It’s really happening.  In two days I’ll be leaving for college… Bailey, Mika, and Katie are already gone.  I always thought I’d be more emotional about this, but it’s felt like we’ve been in the process, both physically and mentally, of leaving for so long that I’ve become numb, in a sense, to the idea that we’re all officially on our own now.  Every time I said goodbye, I never really felt like I meant it.  I think that things like this must always sort of be an anticlimax… we don’t just all disappear off the grid at once, but rather we slowly slip away, and we’ve been undergoing that process for the entirety of the past year. 

            I asked Reed, “Won’t you miss your friends and family?”  He replied, “Yes, but I’m bringing the most important one with me.”  It’s very true… I would be an emotional wreck right now if Reed were leaving me.  Does that mean that I care about him more than I do anyone else?  Yes, and no, if I’m being honest.  It’s the strangest thing, when you realize that you love someone more than you love your own family, more than you love anyone else in the world… terrifying, really, the intensity of that feeling.  Maybe this is all just youthful excess, or maybe this is a rare, true thing, but the way I feel about Reed… I don’t think everyone gets to feel this way in his or her lifetime. 

            At the same time that I’m so whole-heartedly dependent on someone else for my own stability and happiness (and it’s hard for me to admit to that, as well it should be), I’ve never been happier in-and-of myself.  I’ve learned over the past year to admire myself like never before, and not just my mental and emotional capabilities; I appreciate my own physical beauty in a way that is new and exciting to me.  I’m not meaning to come across like being all “I’m so hot”, but… I’m so hot.  It’s a fantastic thing, being constantly turned on by yourself.  I’m turned on by myself, by my youth and vitality and by the changes in color and tone that come with summertime: long, blonde hair, that I can’t resist brushing at every opportunity, just for the pleasure of seeing and feeling the way it falls in shimmery, summery curtains over my slim shoulders… tan, unblemished skin that looks so God-damned inviting and sensual against new white cotton panties… legs that will never be sleeker, breasts that will never be firmer, a stomach that will never be flatter, and a sense of desire that will never be stronger. 

Part of the reason behind this change in attitude is Reed, who compliments my looks a hundred times a day (and that is just barely an exaggeration), who is constantly in praise of the feminine curves of my figure, who seems so in awe of every little motion and gesture I make that it’s impossible not to be infected by some of his appreciation for me on a purely physical level.  Part of it is undoubtedly the sex: it goes beyond frequent to the point of “nearly constant”, and is always and in wildly varied ways an act of such pure pleasure that is instills an inescapable sense of confidence and worthiness.  But it’s not just the sex itself, it’s the pure sensuality of the sex… this is not your basic idea of sex, this is something more intimate, more taboo, more loving, more daring, more generous, and more reckless than the act itself can ever be, and therefore infinitely more satisfying.  Finally, part of it is just a product of finally growing into myself, as we all have done- the awkward stages have passed and this is the start of the period of our lives known as “our physical peek”.  It’s more than just growing out of acne and coming into proportion: it’s learning how to dress, learning how to wear our hair and make-up, learning how to comport ourselves with the opposite sex, and finally attaining the effortless charm and grace of the particular type of youth who have had every comfort and luxury we could reasonably want for, juxtaposed with the brilliance and intensity of people who are still hungry for and desirous of everything.  There is no more attractive combination, as far as I can reckon. 

We are all at our prime, and we should all be this enamored of ourselves… we’re all so young and every part of us is so bursting with sensuality, and there’s a deeper sort of pleasure that comes from living with the terrible awareness of that youth and sensuality.  It’s realizing how much you appreciate the way your lips feel on your tongue, the hollow above your collarbone, your navel when you’re lying stretched and taut on your back, fingertips and inner thighs and the arch of your feet.  This sort of awareness leads to a healthier approach to living as well as greater emotional satisfaction, I believe… when you appreciate and value your body and looks so highly, bad habits are less appealing.  You don’t feel driven to put unnatural, unhealthy foods into your body.  You wake up with the drive to stretch your legs and move.  It’s not a motivation to diet or exercise or anything along those lines… it’s a motivation to live with an elegance and simplicity that matches that of your body.  It’s something that I want for all of you.  Everyone should live with this awareness and this motivation and the sense of fulfillment that they give.

Sexuality is an interesting thing.  Reed and I had a lengthy discussion the other day that shed some light, not on answers, but on more fitting questions for me.  Why do the things that turn us on, turn us on?  What is okay to own up to, what is inappropriate to admit?  If I could ask girls to do one thing to greatly improve the quality of their lives, as silly as this may seem, it would be a request that they never shy away from aspects of physical intimacy that seem unusual, taboo, or even unappealing when looked at in the cold, hard light of day.  I would hope that they would find someone with whom they could indulge their most exotic desires, fetishes, and fantasies.  There is nothing more fulfilling, more thrilling, more intoxicating than indulging in what’s strange and pleasant and entirely unfamiliar, and it breaks my heart to think that there are people who have never taken all the right risks, never expressed curiosity or interest in something new, and never been rewarded, as a result, with the experience of finding out that something totally unexpected gets you off.  Sex has never been more talked about, experimentation has never been more encouraged… a person’s sex life should never be something conventional.

This entry seems to have taken on an unexpected but rather pervasive theme- the words “physical”, “mental”, “emotional” seem to dominate the text, coming through to the reader like some sort of chant or mantra.  At the core of things, those words really do capture, as well as words can ever capture any real sentiment, what this is all about, this human experience.  We’re starting a new chapter in our lives, in which we have the opportunity to satisfy those capacities, to make peace with them and all of their demands, to be more aware of just what it takes to be fulfilled in a sense, and to set a tone, of satisfaction or reservation, for the rest of our lives.  I intend to live beautifully over these next four years… but I recognize that it’s easier for me to say that than for some others.  I’m in love, and that really does make all the difference when it comes to your approach to the future foremost, present secondly, and even the past when you have some ghosts and some skeletons lingering around like most of us do.  I hope all of you find love.  I hope all of you find meaningful, exciting, lasting, overwhelming love, or if not that, then whatever in the world could possibly be substituted for that that will make you feel the full extents of your own drive and your own satisfaction, if there is any such thing.  I want us all to live beautifully.

Heyy

Hey guys!

So my classes are starting tomorrow and i can't wait!!

Honestly i've been really really bored up here. You'd think since i'm in the city i could find something to do with my time...but i haven't. :-/

I miss having people to hang out with. Like i'm getting to know the nursing girls and i'm just feeling like most of the girls aren't like me at all. it's kind of depressing. i just want to be at the point after i've established friends.

Last night i actually went out though! But then i ended up at this sketchy apartment off campus that was very reminiscent of Tyler's garage. Luckily me and Kae (one of the nursing girls...but she lives in the dorm on the other side of Monroe Park) decided to just go back to her dorm and chill.

I also missing having my guy friends. Like i said, I'm not really relating to the girls here so I kind of wish I could just find some guys to chill with.

There are 4 guys on my floor: Ryan, Giovanni (hahah), Gil, and Kyle.

Most of them are really scary! (ryan and giovanni)

Gil is in the nursing program...he's nice but...weird

Kyle seems pretty normal. I think i'm going to try to become buddies with him. Kae knows him from school so he's probably pretty legit.

But classes are tomorrow and I'm hoping that will help me meet other people.

I'm going to post pictures of my room soon I think!!

I love you guys and miss you tons!!! <3

--Cougzzz

Hey friends! Because I’m lazy and don’t feel like actually typing most of this stuff out I’m just gonna run it down a list of random things to keep you up to date of my oh so exciting life in Da Burg. =p
1. I MISS YOU GUYS ALREADY!!!!!!
2. I shaved my legs for the first time since Hatteras. . . . not that I really need to though. . . razors still scare the crap out of me =[
3. Linda is over here now to help with painting the old computer room a green-blue color. It’s really pretty.

4. My Great Uncle Al died yesterday (Tuesday). So Mama and I are leaving Thursday for Albany, NY for the wake and funeral and coming home Sunday.
5. I never met Uncle Al. he died of something called Lunar Bodies… in the brain.
6. I just call them Loony Bodies.

7. Yesterday at work I cried for the 2nd time. =/ it was a misunderstanding on my part and the foreign guy was getting super mad at me. I kept apologizing and he was menacing looking. So I started to cry in front of the stupid customers. I didn’t mean to cry and it pissed me off that I did. But then he was all don’t worry about it. Don’t cry don’t cry. Calm down. Then left. . . . The Bastard.

8. Right after The Bastard left, my unit supervisor (just like one level above me) Mike (senior in high school. Gay man. I love him so much! Lollol) came up and I told him about it. He got super pissed and wanted to beat the crap out of the dude. Then he had to go back to Pompeii to finish an audit and told Shannon who was working there about what happened. She got mad and wanted to beat up the guy too! When I found out about their reactions, it made me really happy to know that I have good friends at work too. =)

9. Although now I’m worried that I might have become the crybaby of the crew at work. . . hopefully not though. I hate unnecessary waterworks.

10. I have the song She Wolf stuck in my head. It’s the new single by Shakira. Mmm the song’s nothing impressive but I still like it. It’d like to say I’m a loyal fan but I don’t have any of her Spanish albums. Lol

11. Jules is doing well! She stopped by today to chat. I miss her a lot too. but I am sorta happy to have the TV back

12. I finished watching the first season of The Office. ^_^ always makes me think of you guys

13. Robin Hood is still in the plastic. I’m saving that for a gloomy day. Ha.

14. Oh and I watched the slide show the other day and made me super happy.

15. Well I have to go now and fold my laundry. Love you guys bunches!!!

How are you guys doing? Take some random pictures of your places so we can seeeeee! Please? =)


<3 Ice C

Figuring It All Out

How does this work?  Am I doing it right?  Okay, let's see... so do we actually have to check the e-mail account for any reason?  Also, how do you do "favorites" using Safari?  I'm very excited about all this :D.