If You Ask I’ll Never Tell. . . Well, Just This Once

More or less it kinda went like that. lol i really don't know if it was a saturday or july. that was just made up for some extra details. lol.


If You Ask I’ll Never Tell. . . Well, Just This Once
One of the most vivid and annoying memories I have was when I really had to pee and refused to use the port-a-potty. It was a Saturday in July, the summer right after my junior year at Lafayette High School. On that hot day I was sun bathing with my friends, Lizz, Bailey and Mika on the King’s Point docks. The air was thick with humidity. It smelled very earth-like because we were on the river during low tide when the water was shallow and muddy looking. The afternoon was pleasant as we caught up on what was happening in each other’s lives, listening to good music, eating snacks and enjoying each other’s company. Because it was so hot, I was drinking a lot of water to stay hydrated. “Hey Lizz, where’s the clubhouse? That’s where the bathroom is, right?” I asked. “Oh, the clubhouse is under construction so you can’t go in there. You have to use the port-a-potty instead,” answered Lizz. My face twisted up in utter disgust at the thought of using a port-a-potty. Lizz smirked at me; she knew I despised them. “They’re not that bad. Just go,” Bailey piped in. I gave her a look that was reminiscent of a dragon shooting fire out of its eyes. Bailey’s mouth curled into a smile, “o r. . .” she began to say as Mika finished the sentence. “You could just go in the river.”


All three of them were looking at me with evil grins plastered on their faces. “HECK NO!!!” I shouted. I swear, I could see the wheels turning in their brains about how funny this was going to be. They encouraged me. “Come on, it’ll be quick.” “Just get in and out.” “Little kids and fish pee all the time in the river.” It felt as if Mika, Bailey and Lizz were inching closer to me to get me to agree with them. Lizz looked me square in the eyes and said, “It’s either the river or the port-a-potty.” After a beat I said, “Fine!” as I threw my hands up in the air and surrendered. With excitement, they shouted, “YAY!” We all got up. They were grinning like fools- I was grumbling. “You guys owe me. . . you better not tell anyone. This is peer pressure!! I’m only doing this to shut you up.”


“Chrissy, you’ll be fine. We won’t tell,” assured Bailey. I walked to the edge of the dock and peeked at the water. It was brownish. Might as well get this over with, I thought to myself. I turned around squatted so that my back was facing the water. I am not jumping in. I better go feet first. I let my legs dangle over the edge of the dock and draped the rest of my upper body on the dock. The tip of my toes could touch the top of the water. “The water is further than I expected,” I reported. I looked up at my friends to find a camera faced in my direction. “What the heck is that?! Put that CAMERA away!!” I practically screeched. Bailey looked sheepishly at me and said, “Aw it’s just to document this great moment.” Mika pointed with her finger at the river and commanded in her deep evil voice, “Get in.”


Suddenly, I was getting tired and wanted to pull myself back up. “Oh my god! Something touched my toe!” It might have been a monster fish and I started freaking out. “Something…” I started to say as I lost my grip and my body slipped off the dock and into the water. All I remember hearing was screaming. I was screaming. My friends were screaming; and then they were laughing. They went into hysterics because they thought it was so funny. I, on the other hand was not amused. I was hanging off the edge of the docks with my arms raised all the way above my head. My feet were awkwardly placed on one of the poles supporting the docks. I could feel the sharpness of the barnacles that had made their home on the pole. I could not pull myself up. My friends came back to their senses and tried to pull me up. My body was in too weird a position to be pulled. One of them asked, “Should we get a noodle to try to pull you up?” “No. No. No.” I said. Then, the thought of getting a lifeguard to help crossed my mind. It completely mortified me to think that someone else would see me in my particular predicament.


After a few minutes of trying to get back up, which felt like ages, I was about to throw in the towel when Lizz suggested, “Try swimming under the dock to the other side. It’s a little bit closer to the water and there’s a random pole here you could push off of.” Lizz’s brilliance to the rescue! I did what she had instructed. I saw the pole that she was talking about. I pushed with one leg on the pole, the other I swung on top of the deck. It’s like Tae Kwon Do class, just swinging my leg in the air, I laughed to myself. Mika, Bailey and Lizz were cheering me on to get back up. “Come on you can do it!” I felt their hands on me as they helped pull me up. In the end, I was able to roll onto the dock. Exhausted and with a half smile I said, “God I hate you guys so much.” Getting up, I walked over to my stuff and gathered it into my arms. I announced, “I’m going home now,” got into the car and drove home.


When I got home I discovered cuts and bruises on my legs from getting back up on the docks. In the shower I found even more cuts on my toes from the barnacles that were on the pole which my feet were resting on. For about a week I had to use band aids for my six out of ten injured toes. I had forgiven my friends by the time I got home because I realized how stupid the whole thing was. Bailey, Mika and Lizz did feel bad, but we all laughed about it later. Ironically, I was able to hold it until I got home. Never again will I give into peer pressure. A few days after that fiasco, Bailey had posted a new video on her Facebook. Lo and behold it was of me just before the moment I felt off the dock. She labeled it, “If you ask, we’ll never tell.” True to their word, none of us have told the whole true story, until now.